I haven’t written in a long while.
Life got busy.
Has that ever happened to you?
You set out with the best of intentions, then a month or maybe even years later, you realize you feel short of those intentions.
Yes, my life got busy in the past couple of months, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was me beating myself up because I wasn’t accomplishing the goals I set forth in January, specifically as they relate to this blog. I was ashamed that I couldn’t keep up with what I had planned and those little voices in head my head started saying, “You’re a failure. You should probably just quit.”
And let me tell you, it is oh so tempting to listen to that voice and to fall back into your old routines and to forget about this new adventure. You remember the one, that one thing that brought you so much joy and made you smile. Yeah, that one.
Before you decide to give up, consider these questions:
Have you given yourself any grace?
It’s not as easy, I know. Grace is mentioned quite a lot on this blog because after the loss of a child I felt all kinds of things I didn’t understand and honestly may never completely understand. I found solace in the act of giving myself grace. So what does that mean?
It means being kind to and understanding of yourself—to find a way to move from the judging of yourself to the loving of yourself, just as you are, flaws and all.
Everyone will find his or her way to grace through different avenues. I’m learning to find mine through the practice of meditation and yoga, by allowing my thoughts to exist just as they are, not trying to change them, but creating space for all those crazy thoughts in my head. Finding acceptance in where you are right now, i.e. giving yourself a little grace, eases resistance.
Where have you been spending your time?
So you didn’t accomplish all those goals… so what have you been doing?
Were you off traveling the world, starting a family, falling in love, or maybe just hibernating at home, resting in order to find your energy again?
Take a step back, friends, and look at where you were spending your time.
Give yourself a big damn hug.
You’ve probably done a lot more than you realize. Even if all you did was rest...
I’ve spent my time completing the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, took a six-week course on The Inner Matrix, created a Miracle Morning practice, and started down the ever-so-emotional journey of fertility treatments, among a few other things.
Let’s just say it’s been busy around our house.
When I took a step back, I noticed everything I’ve done was absolutely in alignment with my vision. It just didn’t have anything to do with my blog. Yet, I was spending a lot of mental energy beating myself up for not accomplishing something in one area of my life (the blog) and not realizing how much I was accomplishing in other areas of life.
Why do we do that to ourselves?
Why do we focus on what we’re not doing instead of all the great things we are doing?
Give yourself a little grace. No time is wasted if you’re able to draw lessons from that time. Did you learn something about yourself in that month, or year, or years? If so, give yourself a high five or a big hug, whichever works better for you.
What did you learn about yourself during that time?
I honestly believe people, places, things, and ideas come to us when the timing is right.
I started this blog on Mothers Day a year ago. As I researched how to build an audience, everyone kept saying you need to post on a regular basis so, after a little experimentation, I made a decision that I could commit to one post a week. And so I did, for the most part, post one post a week; however, at some point, it became a task instead of an opportunity to express myself and to share my experience. It became another thing to do.
What I learned about myself is I’m not a writer who can have a simple and regular cadence. I write when it flows, when the emotions are too much, when the weight is too heavy… I then write to cope, to understand, to share.
My best posts come from this place deep within me and those cannot be timed to fit into a schedule I created for my blog. Creativity is a beast that knows no boundaries; it needs freedom to roam and to explore.
Let’s give ourselves a break, friends, and stop trying to conform to what everyone else says we should do.
Let go of the idea that “you're not doing it right.”
Find what works for you, and then go out and do it!
Today, I find myself back at the computer writing after being away for several months, finding the freedom to continue the exploration. Tomorrow, I may not and that’s ok because there will be bumps in the road. Life will often distract you; you will likely need a break at times; and as we've learned creativity needs space. The idea is to come back to those places of joy, no matter how long it’s been since you left.
So today, if you’ve been missing your joy, schedule time for one small thing that is in alignment with your goals (or intentions). Good things tend to happen after you take one step forward... but if they don’t, remember that it’s ok.
Peace and Love, Friends