How to Heal Your Heart After Loss

Be fearless, friends, for what you're about to embark upon will be transformational. Muster up a little courage, and spend some time with your heart this week.  

Here we go. 

This is the last in my series on heart work. We talked about Recognizing When our Hearts Need Healing and 5 Ways to Support Those Who are Hurting, and now it’s time to address how you can address your own heart work.  This is the hardest, yet most important, part of heart work.

It’s the “doing” part.

It's the part that is going to require courage and intention. 

Many times we know we need to spend time with our heart and yet we avoid.  Either we don’t know how or we’re scared.  Today, I'll give you a starting place for the how.  I'll ask that you bring your courage.

Sticky with me friends,

I remind you this is not simple work; it may take a lifetime to untangle our hearts. Be patient with yourself.  Stick with it because there within your heart work you will discover your strength. Often we avoid heart work because we know we may discover things we don’t like about ourselves.  We may find lingering scars left by past experiences that bring sadness, pain, and suffering to the surface.  Be gentle with yourself, and give yourself a little grace; know this might not be easy, but the learnings are life-changing. Take courage, and reach out for support when you need it.    

  • Prepare - Consider your surroundings before you start this work. I recommend that you find a space you love and allow enough time to really discover your heart. I personally enjoy a quiet, tranquil space where I can hear nature around me. You may find a particular space that speaks to you. Maybe it’s a room in your house, maybe it's outside or at a local coffee shop where you can watch people pass by. I like to set myself up with soft music, essential oils in a diffuser, a warm beverage (we are slowly moving into fall so I like to grab a warm drink to soothe my soul), a blanket, and something to capture my thoughts, either a journal or computer (just be sure to turn off the wifi to minimize distractions). Your space might look completely different than mine, but find a space you love, where you feel completely comfortable and relaxed and can spend at least one hour to ponder the following questions.

  • Discovery - Ask yourself, "What behaviors have I noticed lately that don’t sit well with me? When have I acted in ways that don't sit well with me? What was the environment? Was I reacting to the place or the people? What was the difference in my thinking or approach in those situations? What changes have occurred in my life in the last few months (or years if this your first time approaching heart work). Is there something in my heart that I’m trying to avoid? What is it about my reaction to the world around me that bothers me?"

  • Take action - Now, consider what’s one thing you can do today to acknowledge what your heart needs? It is a phone call to a friend or loved one? Do you need to apologize to someone? Was there a misunderstanding you need to clear up? Do you need a trip to a gravesite to visit someone you cannot call? Is it a note of thanks to someone who’s impacted your world? What is it your heart needs today?

Don’t be afraid to go deep, friends, and take care of your hearts.  There is much to be discovered within our own hearts. Our work here on earth is so much more than checklists and cursory conversations. When you take care of your heart, you begin to be able to serve others with so much love and that, my friends, is what life is all about...  taking care of yourself so you’re able to notice and to take care of those around you.  

I leave you with a blessing of time and of space to heal your heart and to grow the love within. 

Does life feel out of control? Do you feel overwhelmed and anxious? Check out this free guide on How to Calm the Chaos After Loss.