5 Tips to Make Space for Your Grief
Have you heard people talking about living a more “natural” or “organic” lifestyle? Buying organic foods, keeping chemicals out of their homes, purchasing clothing that’s made from natural materials. I’m all in for that, but lately I’ve started to wonder, ”Does surrounding ourselves with organic things and eating organic foods really create a more organic lifestyle?”
What about how we expereince our lives?
Are we spending all our time trying to “make what we want happen” and missing out what God has in store for us?
When I travel, I’m adamant about leaving schedules open. I thoroughly enjoy “going with the flow” and allowing our desires, curiosity, and intuition to guide our steps. And what do you know, our vacations turn out to be magical.
Then we come home.
Our lives are scheduled, almost to the minute. If emotions comes up unexpected, there’s not time to stop. It’s the world we live in, but does it have to be? I was recently laid off and you’d think my calendar would be wide open. Nothing to do, right?
Nope, I filled that calendar right up!
Why do we do that?
We’re conditioned to set goals, block calendars, and take action towards meeting those goals. Now I totally get that life comes with responsibilities and we can’t drop everything and go do exactly what we want; however, can we give ourselves permission to allow space in our lives to notice the opportunities and follow them when we can? Can we allow for more flexibility to pause and sit with our grief when it bubbles up? What if it was ok to follow that whim, stare out the window, have that conversation, or get a drink with a friend?
What if we stood in each moment and asked ourselves, “Where shall I go next? Where am I being called? What does my soul need right now? Where would I be of the most service right now?”
5 Tips to Allow Life to Unfold Naturally and Make Space for Your Grief
START YOUR DAY ASKING FOR GUIDANCE: Ask God, or the powers that be to guide you, so you can best take care of yourself and be of service to others. Here’s a little prayer I use each morning. Thank you to Gabby Bernstein for the words.
“Where would you have me go?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me say? And to whom?”
LIMIT YOUR TO-DO LIST: Commit to no more than five things on the list per day. Yep, I said it…only FIVE things! That’s it! When was the last time you ended the day and still had things left on your list? How did that make you feel? Did you feel like you failed because you couldn’t get it all done? How about we start with a smaller list! Rocket science…I know. It’s amazing what one small change can do for our mental state.
STOP MULTI-TASKING: If you’re a woman, you know what I’m talking about. Doing the laundry, while cooking, feeding the child, catching up on Instagram, scheduling a hair appointment. We all do it. Heck, I did it today! It’s a true fact that the human mind can only focus on one thing in any given moment. It’s physically impossible to focus on more than one thing at the same time. So why do we try? Switch your phone to airplane mode. If at all possible only check email twice a day and turn off notifications.
SAY NO: This is my favorite tip because we do A LOT of crap out of obligation or because we think we should. If something doesn’t feel right, give yourself permission to say no. Say it kindly and with respect, but say no. For all my grief buddies out there, listen to me when I say you have permission to say no to anything (within reason of course) that doesn’t bring you comfort or joy. I know we can’t all quit our jobs, but when you can protect your heart and your calendar so you have space to tend to your needs.
ONLY PUT MEETINGS OR APPOINTMENTS ON YOUR CALENDAR: When I worked in a corporate environment, I used to block off my calendar for tasks and project time so my calendar wouldn’t get swallowed by meetings. Now that others aren’t scheduling meetings on my calendar I’m making an attempt to release that habit. There’s so much space on my calendar and I feel like I can breathe again! It’s liberating.
I love schedules, calendars, goals and actions just as much as the next gal. But I also know, ultimately, we are not in control of how our life unfolds.
It’s 2014 and you’re on your honeymoon. As you walk the streets of Rome, you hear cheering from a local bar. It draws you in. There’s a soccer game on (and your husband loves soccer), so you sit for a while. You order a drink and they just happen to be serving an amazing buffet of fresh vegetables. It was so damn good you feel compelled to snap a photo!
Looking back, you have no idea where you were headed when you stumbled into that bar. No idea if you were “supposed” to be somewhere else. You know now, it doesn’t matter. You were exactly where you were supposed to be.
It was over five years ago and I still remember every detail of that bar, the low lighting, the smell of the food, the sound of the game, laughter, music, and my new husband sitting across from me smiling ear-to-ear. It was one of the most memorable moments of my life.
When we sit back and allow life to unfold, we are taken places we never dream possible. When we let go of control and allow God or the Universe, or whatever power you believe in, to guide our path, we experience a world greater than human minds could have imagined.
Go with ease and allow your life to unfold naturally… Let’s discover what comes next!
Have you ever had a moment where everything, somehow, just fell into place? Share your stories in the comments below.
Do you feel overwhelmed and anxious? Check out this free guide on How to Calm the Chaos After Loss.